Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
