STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
