Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
