I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
