what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
