Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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