he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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