New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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