CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize