Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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