Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
