Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
