when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
