shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
