I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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