I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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