I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
