kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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