I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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