Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You don't make any sense
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