apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
