dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
