It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
