theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I love how my cats smell like pot.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
