There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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