I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize