I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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