oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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