Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
