wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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