And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
