He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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