people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
