You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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