so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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