i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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