i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
