you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
