I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
