Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
