I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
