Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize