I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
