dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
