u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just cropdusted the office
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
