Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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