Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
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