my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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