i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
