If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
