Its about making memories worth repressing
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
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Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize