talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she smelled like a LAN party
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
