walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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