Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
