So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
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He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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