Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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