Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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