sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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