lets start a swedish sibling band together
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
